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the Moment

it is SO lovely,
beyond lovely,
to meet you in this moment
and love you in this moment
without expectation
or wanting

how, in not wanting, this moment blossoms,
our souls kiss,
ageless

but do understand,
that i DO want something
and if it feels like i’m grappling at times,
consider noticing it for what it is:

not an attempt to control you,
or change you,
or make boxes for the future.

it’s only because i want to spend more time with you.

i do not think it is un-Zen of me

to want to make more of these moments

it is not Desire, Lust nor Ego;

for, to love you is my Calling.

all this bliss is threatening to drive me insane

i’m trying less and less for comprehensibility, and more and more for poetic flow.

essentially, as before, i let go.

but i’m embedding meaning for the gleaning
for the inspired type
the situation is blessed and the thoughts are ripe

these are lessons for your picking

requiring your committing
to the bliss that comes
in tiny packages, all attached to one string
like the birds that sing in the morning
to the hand of God.

every time you tell me you love me you heal my pain

it is these trinkets of love that you send
in emails and in phone calls
which save me from the black hole
spinning voraciously a little to the side of my head,
threatening to suck my heart out.

self-love is a tricky matter
and frankly i welcome your love.
i would cuddle and/or huddle with you for hours on end
if not weeks, and if not moons,
if not forever.

your message to me is consistent and clear,
and my message to you is thus:

i would not be so challenged if i did not care so much
but i’d rather care and be challenged than not care.
i saw the masses downtown today,
celebrating Canada Day, and I was amazed that none of them seemed to recognize
the ludicrosity of their predicament.

oh I thank the Goddess that my soul is compassionate enough to suffer.

what i would like now is to gather with my Tribe
and mourn together.

does anyone know of any event producers that would be willing to take on a massive mourning ceremony?
it may be easier to draw people out than for a party,
for the need is great at this time,
whereas our will to celebrate is stretched a bit thin.

more immediately, and perhaps more intimately,
i want to put my heart against hers,
and feel their mutual beat.
to warm the air that surrounds us.

Love is still the answer.
Love is still the key.
Love is beautiful in its simplicity.

Every time you tell me you love me you heal my pain.